What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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