Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Pooping to opera.
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