WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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