The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
