I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
