The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
