This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
