Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
