I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
