Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
PANTIES FOUND
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