dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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