Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
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