I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
