did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
