Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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