took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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