What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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