I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
