what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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