its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
