question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
