just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Also, beer. Big fan.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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