I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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