I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
