i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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