Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Randomize
