splinters make it hard to masturbate
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
