I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
