I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize