So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
