Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
