just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
