Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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