How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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