What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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