I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
