Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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