My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
