This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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