Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
