Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
