Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
