is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
