Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
