Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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