dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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