I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
