I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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