Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
