Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
