This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
