Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
